Citizen Soldier - I'm Not Okay 歌詞翻譯

你好嗎? 我不好

Tonight the monsters in my head

今晚我腦海中那些怪物們

Are screaming so damn loud

又在死命的咆嘯著

But I built walls so high

但幸虧我築起的牆夠高

So they never even make a sound

所以他們連一丁點聲音都傳不出來

It's a mask, it's a lie

這都是偽裝, 這都是謊言

It's the only home I've ever known

這是我唯一知曉的避風港

Cause being who I really am

因為如果做真正的我

Has only left me more alone

就只會讓我變得更加寂寞

I am not okay

我不太好受

And I need you to see it

我覺得你需要知道這樣的我

I have so much to say

我有好多話要說

And no one to hear it

但卻找不到人聽

The reason I keep quiet

那就是我一直選擇沉默的原因

With so much at stake

我一直選擇讓自己處在危險的臨界點

I always feel like a burden

我總感覺自己對其他人來說就像個負擔

Let it silence me

而這感覺讓我開不了口

You'll never understand

你們永遠不會了解

Why it's so hard to say

為什麼說出口會是件那麼難的事

I'm not okay

我真的不太好受

I wish I had a scar, had a bruise on the surface

我多希望自己身上有傷口, 有瘀青

Any kind of proof

或是其他顯眼的東西

That everything I feel is more than just some sad excuse

來證明我所感受到的那些事遠遠不只是我憂鬱的藉口

My life's invisible abuse

那默默折磨我一生的事

I'm either judged or have to hide

我只能選擇被別人指指點點或藏起來不說

The only symptom you can see

而你唯一看得見的病兆

Is I don't wanna be alive

就是我根本不怎麼想活下去

I am not okay

我不太好受

And I need you to see it

我覺得你需要知道這樣的我

I have so much to say

我有好多話要說

And no one to hear it

但卻找不到人聽

The reason I keep quiet

那就是我一直選擇沉默的原因

With so much at stake

我一直選擇讓自己處在危險的臨界點

I always feel like a burden

我總感覺自己對其他人來說就像個負擔

Let it silence me

而這感覺讓我開不了口

You'll never understand

你們永遠不會了解

Why it's so hard to say

為什麼說出口會是件那麼難的事

I'll never have the words

我想我永遠找不到任何字詞來形容

I can't explain this hell

我沒辦法去描述我眼前的地獄

But what if it kills me

但如果哪天它真的要了我的命要怎麼辦?

If I keep it to myself

如果我繼續把這些當成我的秘密真的會發生

I am not okay

我不太好受

And I need you to see it

我覺得你需要知道這樣的我

I have so much to say

我有好多話要說

And no one to hear it

但卻找不到人聽

I'm not okay

我不太好受

I'm not okay

我不太好受

I'm never safe

我從來就沒有安全感

It's not a phase

這不是我人生中某種奇怪的時期

If I finally break

如果我撐過了這些

Would you still stay

你還會待在我身邊嗎?

Tonight the monsters in my head

今晚我腦海中那些怪物們

Are screaming so damn loud

又在死命的咆嘯著